


Sunshine

by kemor



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, split personality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 12:42:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15315744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kemor/pseuds/kemor
Summary: Commissioned by SweetReikuri.Having spent years behind walls, Reiner starts to crack. Soon he finds out he's not the only one hiding something from others.





	Sunshine

It was yet another gloomy, grey day, with the rain coming back whenever it so desired. The sun has not been seen in almost a week now, but there were times where you could see it trying to desperately break through the thick, solid defenses of the clouds. To no avail.

With the rain pouring basically whenever it wanted to, sometimes for hours at a time, the conditions surely did not favor anyone. Especially not those, who were forced to have a hand-to-hand practice at 7 AM. Again.

The mud was so thick and high, that some of the cadets felt it on their bare feet, despite their boots being as tall as their kneecaps. None of them was thrilled to roll around in the mud for the fourth consecutive day, and it showed. For some more than others.

Reiner grit his teeth and braced himself for impact after feeling his legs losing contact with the ground. Soon after he felt his back and head smash into the mud, his hair getting dirty along with his neck. Grunting from pain, he brought his legs back from above his head and sat down, feeling the mud flow down his neck onto his back. How fun.

Truth to be told, he'd lie if he said he wasn't just about to kick the ground in a childish tantrum and leave the practice area. Even someone as high-spirited as him had their limits. And it was about to be reached.

Despite his inner wishes, Reiner massaged his sore neck and cracked a small smirk. "Well, looks like you've got me again, Annie." he laughed and looked up to see his partner, who continued to stare him down.

And that's when things have turned for much worse.

She didn't say a thing. She just kept piercing his already split, barely put together soul with her cold, bored blue eyes. She didn't say a thing, both with her mouth and body. But her eyes...now that was a much different matter.

Reiner's smile turned into a scowl, and he was well aware of it. He didn't give two shits if people saw them - not that they would be surprised. The two of them have always been at each other's throats. But this time it would turn into something really unsightly.

"Help me out, will you?" he asked her in a low voice and extended his right hand towards her. Although hesitant, she grabbed it and pulled him up to his feet. She wanted to let go, but he didn't let her. If there was one thing he was better at than she was, it was brute strength.

Reiner squeezed her hand so hard she couldn't help but grimace from pain. "Stop giving me this judgmental look, you cold bitch." he whispered into her ear, making her eyes to suddenly widen. She used everything she had in her to rip her arm out of his grip and turned away, massaging it on the way. To anyone eavesdropping it would sound like a man's fragile ego speaking through his mouth, ego harmed by being thrown around by a girl half his size. To the two of them - it held a completely different meaning.

He watched her walk away and as he did so, his anger started to grow even more. He looked around himself. Why did they even bother? Why did he force himself to spend time with these subhumans? With these idiots? There was nobody to oppose them. They could march through the camp and the walls right here, right now. Now that he thought about it...why not just do it? Grab Bertholt and Annie and wipe this place off the face of the earth? He could do it. All it would take was one bite. Three, no, two days of consecutive wall breaking and they could go home. Why did they even decide to spend years in here?

As Reiner continued to question his stupid decisions, he felt someone bump into him. Someone he despised more than anything in the world. Not that he knew who it was - he viewed them all the same.

As if on instinct he quickly turned on his feet and caught the person who fell on him, preventing them from falling into the mud. This someone turned out to be Connie.

"Are you okay?" asked Reiner in a concerned voice.

The boy massaged his head and looked up to meet Reiner's eyes. "Yeah, sorry. Sasha pushed me too hard." he apologized and got back on his feet. "Watch yourself, will you?"

Sasha walked up to them and simply shrugged with a bored face. "Not my fault you're so slow. Good thing Reiner caught you, because if you fell into the mud, we wouldn't find you. You know, with how small you are."

Connie's forehead was now full of veins, and as the two started to argue. Reiner watched them in mild shock. What the hell was that? Why did he catch him? He looked at his hands and squeezed them, before scowling again. This should not have happened.

Reiner looked up and quickly walked up to Connie, who was now pulling on Sasha's hair. The boy noticed his approach and turned his head in his direction with a smile. "What's up?"

A second later he felt Reiner's powerful grip on his shoulder, with the giant bowing down to his ear. "If you keep this up, the Instructor will catch you again. Get back on her by tripping her so that her hair gets dirty. Chicks are sensitive about this stuff."

Connie stared at him for a moment, before smirking. "Got it. Thanks, Rainer."

As the two started to fight, Reiner blinked tiredly and walked away. He had to, before he did something stupid.

He sat by the fence, right under a tree. Its crown didn't let as much water through, so the ground we semi-solid there. He sprawled his back against the wire and sighed tiredly through his nose.

It's been 3 years and yet he still couldn't stop dreaming about it. The one moment of hesitance that forced him to do...this. Pretending, faking. He hated every single second he spent in here. A part of him even started to ridicule his old dreams of becoming a hero, someone people would speak of with pride in their voices. Except heroes did not have to be saved from death by friends. Heroes did not sentence the entire unit to spend their precious time playing soldiers. If he wasn't so damn weak, he'd already be back home, with his family. Claimed a hero.

Reiner's hands clenched into fists, which were now shaking from frustration. Frustration he couldn't quite let out, no matter where he was. Screw it, he might as well use this opportunity.

Suddenly, he heard screaming. Nothing unusual, although this time the loudest voice did stun him for a bit. He lazily lifted his head to his right and spotted Ymir and Krista, with the latter doing the screaming, a sight quite possibly no one has ever seen before. He watched the petite girl shove off Ymir's hand she put on her shoulder as she turned around and started to walk away from her shocked partner.

Reiner and Krista's eyes met and after staring at one another for a moment, the blonde changed her direction and walked towards him, much to his annoyance. The timing could not have been worse.

Krista sat heavily beside Reiner and sighed, before bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

Reiner looked at her quietly and narrowed his eyes. She was among those he hated he most. Always smiling, always protecting those who clearly had no business in being in the military. It all looked so faked and forced he wanted to puke. But this time...something felt off.

Not wanting to alert her of his current state of mind, Reiner silently cleared her throat and put up a facade, best to his ability. "Marital fight?" he asked with a playful smirk, one he practiced a lot.

The girl didn't even look at him, her eyes glued to her feet instead. "I'm getting sick of it." she mumbled quietly. "You?"

It took him a while, but Reiner got the meaning. "She's holding back on you again? I admit, that can be annoying at times." he shook his head and massaged his sore neck. Truth to be told, he wasn't sure which was worse - being thrown like a ragdoll, or being treated like a feather. "And I'm...recovering. From Annie." he added and pointed at his neck.

Krista did not reply, instead giving a weak nod. Reiner's smile faded, having quickly picked up something else was going on. "What's wrong?"

A minute has passed, a minute full of silence, a minute of Krista staring at her boots and Reiner staring at her face. He didn't feel particularly interested in the girl, not at all. To him, she belonged in the same bag as any other person born behind the walls. But he was still very eager to go through with his earlier plan, a plan he knew was foolish and risky. Talking to her and having her around in one way or another pushed this idea back where it came from - to the back of his mind.

"Reiner..." began the girl quietly. "If I had told you there was more to me than you've seen thus far...would you believe me?"

The man blinked in confusion. Where did that come from?

"Of course I would. Everyone has something they're hiding, something they show only to themselves." he replied truthfully with few people on his mind as he did so. Himself included. "There's lots of stuff you don't know about yourself yet, either."

Krista snorted into her knees. It wasn't the usual laugh he was used to hearing daily. It was oozing with sarcasm and it was more...mature. Confident. Something that simply did not suit her at all.

"Then why is it that people I consider closest to me never seem to notice that?" she asked coldly. "Why am I always viewed as an object that requires protection? Someone who cannot do anything on their own, who would never get as far as they did without help? Even those closest to me treat me that way."

Reiner's eyes widened in shock, memories flashing before his eyes. Immense pain took over his senses, his head sending waves of pain down his body, as if someone started to crack his head open with a hammer. He saw the paper that concluded his results, he saw his mother's joy upon seeing his new armband, he heard Marcel's confession just minutes before he was eaten... Could it be?

He quickly looked away and massaged his head, not willing to let her know of his condition. His hands were shaking, so he clenched them into fists yet again.

"Maybe..." he said quietly. "Maybe it's because even though they know you're capable, they still wish to protect you from a certain fate. They know this path may not have been meant for you, even if there's nothing else you want from life. There are times, where those who love us the most put a blade in our back just to save us, and they feel like they're right by doing so, as long as it means they protect us. Whether it's right or not...I don't know. No matter what, someone always suffers. One way or another."

Krista sighed. She didn't say anything, but seemed to take his words to the heart, as her face became slightly less gloomy. She exhaled through her nose and turned to face him. "Why are you sitting by yourself? You don't look so good, are you okay?" she asked.

Reiner could only stare at her in awe. Although the question was genuine, the concern...was not. As he stared into her blue eyes, he realised something. There was nothing different about them - they were still as blue as the ocean, large and beautiful. But behind those eyes creeped something only he could pick up.

That question...did she realise? If she did, did that mean everyone else could pick it up, too? His shifts that kept on becoming more common with each passing day?

Reiner continued to stare at her, gears grinding in his brain. If she'd realised, if she'd noticed...That would explain her eyes. And if that was connected, then it meant only one thing - he was no longer talking to Krista.

"I'm fine, I guess." he lied and scratched his chin. "Just tired. Been a while since we've had a day off."

Krista blinked and looked away from him. "I see. Take it easy, then." she said and stood up. As she did so, she stretched her torso and moaned quietly in pleasure. "Well then..." she began and smiled into the horizon. "I better get back to training. Can't keep sulking forever. You do the same, otherwise you'll get a headbutt!" she chirped and waved him before running off.

Reiner could only watch her leave him, his mind in more pieces than before. But not in a bad way. She'd helped him see things from a different perspective. He no longer felt alone, nor did he consider himself a good actor anymore. He was way behind this tiny little being. And he was okay with it. Warriors had to overcome challenges. And a challenge it was.

He smiled and stood up from his spot, before dusting his dirty butt off mud and dust. As he did so, he was forced to raise his hand up to cover his face, the first beams of sun peeking from behind the clouds, much to the delight of everyone on the field.

Reiner smiled at the sight of the sun and then blinked in confusion, before looking around himself.

"Huh? Why am I standing by the fence?"


End file.
